


이별 뒤엔 홀로 그댈 그려보고

by sseundalkhom



Series: The Garland [7]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:52:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom
Summary: The regret always comes late.





	이별 뒤엔 홀로 그댈 그려보고

the night goes longer this time and seokmin does not need to know why. he is too busy of thinking about the man whom he hurt the most. he is feeling guilty. a year has passed but the guilt still lingers there, deep inside him gnawing slowly yet surely will tear his heart in pieces. 

the night goes colder this time and the man ignores the coldness that shiver his spine. the days he has been through after the breakup is much colder and no one can compare how lonely the days were. the days without him is a cruel day. seokmin should have known how much price he would pay if the result was like this. 

but he was a stubborn to cut the thing between them. because he believed at his own thought that the latter never fell in love with him at the first place; because they were never meant to be together; because the more he held him, they would bicker again and again. 

but now where the time pass by, the guilt never leave him alone. it is still there, rubbing on the pain of living alone without the latter. 

he tries to move on, _a lot-literally many times_ , he tries to meet up and get hooked with people at the club—but the trace which that person leave behind, make a huge hole inside him. no matter how much he wants to fill in the empty place with different figure, it never fits the space. like it is matched with the former. 

“you know you’ve had a lot tonight,” the voice catches him, putting down his glass and turning to one side. he notices a familiar person in his eyes. 

“oh wonwoo hyung,” he pulls a smile. 

the person comes and sits beside seokmin, summoning a waiter to get a drink for him. “rough day?” 

“as always… _since he’s gone_ , i’m sorry.” 

wonwoo chuckles. “you know i still can’t forgive you.” 

seokmin hums. “it’s unforgivable sin. i know.” 

the waiter comes between them, serves a drink for wonwoo and leave the scene. wonwoo gets his attention back to the male beside him. he looks so miserable, and the older feels pity at him. 

“have you tried to take care of yourself?” 

the young man stares at his empty glass, fidgeting nervously. “ _i’ve tried_ , i guess.” 

“soonyoung wouldn’t like it if he knows you living your life like this,” wonwoo says, catching the male off-guard who almost chocking a tear, “he wants you to live happily. no miserable life, remember?” 

“but—”

“he is no longer here.” 

seokmin shuts his lips tight. his mind wanders back to the day when they got a big fight which turned seokmin to shout as he cut their relationship. the day when the heaven took the man’s life as well. 

“i miss soonyoung,” he mutters silently. 

“so do i,” the older replies. 

deep within him, seokmin hopes to turn back the time when he shouted hard at the former. he should’ve run back to him. he should’ve got him back to his embrace at the time he saw soonyoung’s back turn to him. he should’ve not let him go from his hand. 

so the accident would never happen. but it’s late. 

now the picture without him, it really happens many—the sight of seokmin without soonyoung by his side. without holding hand publicly, his hand feels so cold. just like the many self-camera he takes, it feels empty. soonyoung is no longer appearing in his photo. 

_without soonyoung._

now after breaking up with him, after one year passes, seokmin spends his time wondering about soonyoung. about how the man feels no pain anymore, how he rests in peace meanwhile in the earth, seokmin struggle to face his day. his decision not only ruin their relationship but also his life. 

he wonders about the man whom he used to love. he wishes to get him back although it is impossible to happen. since soonyoung has gone, the relationship has broken and the remorse is left behind. 

wonwoo pats his back. “move on, i know it’s hard— _just_ ,” a pause, “we can’t change the truth, seokmin, continue your life, for soonyoung. for your sake as well.” 

seokmin wipes his silent tear. he knows he can’t. he is unable to bear the loneliness. he can’t stand the life without soonyoung. but he has to. he has to live, so he can please soonyoung’s last wish. 

**Author's Note:**

> title is taken from no way that sung by one project group (빨강하다) in the unit if you watch. it's a good song, you should listen it ^^ anyway please do comment


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